Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Fourth term paper blog entry
I am seeing some positive progress. However, I am a bit of an pessimism and continue to go back to the same self defeating attitude. Positive thinking is a great concept to a positive life but if you don't have cheerleaders to help you feel that this process is working or that I'm doing it right in feels lacking in the change I wanted to see by now. I really expected the change to living a rational life to be the use of common sense. It turns out I am wrong. I do intend to continue to use the new skills I have learned in A Guide to Rational Living. I find myself trying to tweak the process, I understand that if I believe something to be true I can make it so. I am just really too unsure in myself esteem and lack a large portion of positive self image. I plan to continue using Dr. Ellis and Dr. Harper's techniques to better the quality of my life.
Personal Journal 9.4
Work conflict: Working in the health care profession means that if your relief doesn't come to work or is late you the care taker on duty can not leave. After a 16 hour shift all you want is to see your relief, report and go home to your family or at least your bed. My relief is always late and we often argue about this. I told the lead tech but still her behavior continued. About three day ago I had taken all the crap I am going to from her and told her. I will admit I did not handle the conflict well. I told her how I felt and I may have insulated her a little, telling her I feel she is lazy and inconsiderate. She and I both ended up with a write up for the words exchanged in the public view.
School Conflict: School conflict worked out better. Last semester I had a professor that was very unstable and controlling. He strongly believed that fear is a healthy thing. I don't know about any one besides me but my fight or flight reaction to fear is more fight than flight. He started the first day by telling each of us that he has seen any and all academic transcripts from elementary to that day. Then, He continually made chauvinist remarks about girls being the weaker sex and call you out by saying "you, little girl". Are you kidding me!! This is 2012,(2011) No, he did not just call me, a mother, wife, and voting American a little girl to insulate me. I handled this situation the only way I could with out having to go to court. I dropped the class and took a different instructor this semester. I would like to go on record in saying that I corrected his behavior several times. In cases when he called me girl or little girl I simple said my own name out loud so that he could hear me clearly. This only made the situation worse.
Home Conflict: My eldest son is coming into his own and I understand this very well. Yet at times his requests are unreasonable.He currently wants me to rent a hotel room in down town Nashville for him and two of his friends for the anaemia conference. There is NO WAY I am renting a room for my 14 year old son and his 14 year old friends. I tried being reasonable in saying that if the other mothers were willing to drive there and back on one of the other two days that I would drive them there and back on one of the days. The conference is three days long there is three of them, makes sense to me. But to him I was not letting him be a big boy (my words not his). I left this conflict unresolved. I am willing to compromise but not on his terms.
School Conflict: School conflict worked out better. Last semester I had a professor that was very unstable and controlling. He strongly believed that fear is a healthy thing. I don't know about any one besides me but my fight or flight reaction to fear is more fight than flight. He started the first day by telling each of us that he has seen any and all academic transcripts from elementary to that day. Then, He continually made chauvinist remarks about girls being the weaker sex and call you out by saying "you, little girl". Are you kidding me!! This is 2012,(2011) No, he did not just call me, a mother, wife, and voting American a little girl to insulate me. I handled this situation the only way I could with out having to go to court. I dropped the class and took a different instructor this semester. I would like to go on record in saying that I corrected his behavior several times. In cases when he called me girl or little girl I simple said my own name out loud so that he could hear me clearly. This only made the situation worse.
Home Conflict: My eldest son is coming into his own and I understand this very well. Yet at times his requests are unreasonable.He currently wants me to rent a hotel room in down town Nashville for him and two of his friends for the anaemia conference. There is NO WAY I am renting a room for my 14 year old son and his 14 year old friends. I tried being reasonable in saying that if the other mothers were willing to drive there and back on one of the other two days that I would drive them there and back on one of the days. The conference is three days long there is three of them, makes sense to me. But to him I was not letting him be a big boy (my words not his). I left this conflict unresolved. I am willing to compromise but not on his terms.
Personal Journal 9.3
I am a mother but I am not every ones care taker.
I am a helpful person but I am not to be used.
I am a smart girl but I am not a genus.
I am adventurist but I am not stupid...
I am a helpful person but I am not to be used.
I am a smart girl but I am not a genus.
I am adventurist but I am not stupid...
Personal Journal 9.1
I feel like your not listening to me because you interrupt every time I speak.
I feel hurt when you criticize me.
I feel unimportant to you when you are always late.
I would like it if you could be more helpful around the house.
I feel myself getting aggravated because your actions are immature.
I am a strong believer in I statements. Change starts with you. No one likes to be told what wrong with them. I statements are a good way to get your point across with out being condescending.
I feel hurt when you criticize me.
I feel unimportant to you when you are always late.
I would like it if you could be more helpful around the house.
I feel myself getting aggravated because your actions are immature.
I am a strong believer in I statements. Change starts with you. No one likes to be told what wrong with them. I statements are a good way to get your point across with out being condescending.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Personal Journal 8.4
LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP!
- Purchase : Bought a Boxer puppy for $800.00
- Why I did: She was so cute and she wanted to come home with me.
- Why I wish I hadn't: We already had two dogs that are a hand full. We live in a small house.
Personal Journal 8.3
How Do You See Money?
To me, money is a lacking commodity.
My financial goals are to make enough to be able to save just in case money. I would like to make enough to be able to vacation twice a year. To pay the bills in full every month, not having to borrow from "Paul to pay Peter."
If I had $100 Bill in my wallet, I would spend it wisely on things we needed only.
When I think about paying bills, I feel a little sick inside. Money takes a lot longer to make then to spend.
One thing I don't understand about money is why some people have more than they need, and other need more than they can ever hope to make.
To me, planning for retirement is a far off worry that I know I need to do but just don't have funds to do yet.
I worry about having enough money to send my kids to the college of their choosing.
Money helps me enjoy a life with out financial worry.
I don't need money to enjoy the time I spend with family and friends.
To me, money is a lacking commodity.
My financial goals are to make enough to be able to save just in case money. I would like to make enough to be able to vacation twice a year. To pay the bills in full every month, not having to borrow from "Paul to pay Peter."
If I had $100 Bill in my wallet, I would spend it wisely on things we needed only.
When I think about paying bills, I feel a little sick inside. Money takes a lot longer to make then to spend.
One thing I don't understand about money is why some people have more than they need, and other need more than they can ever hope to make.
To me, planning for retirement is a far off worry that I know I need to do but just don't have funds to do yet.
I worry about having enough money to send my kids to the college of their choosing.
Money helps me enjoy a life with out financial worry.
I don't need money to enjoy the time I spend with family and friends.
Personal Journal 8.1
Now I know that I am suppose to prioritize my life in this blog. But I don't even know where to start. Priority 1: Pay the bills. Urgent.
Priority 2: housework. Not urgent.
Priority 3: plan Halloween party. semi Urgent.
That is really all I have. I stay on top of my responsibilities nothing is more important then anything else all of it needs to be done and soon.
Priority 2: housework. Not urgent.
Priority 3: plan Halloween party. semi Urgent.
That is really all I have. I stay on top of my responsibilities nothing is more important then anything else all of it needs to be done and soon.
Monday, October 15, 2012
Term paper blog entry # 3
The techniques in the book are fairly simple in concept. Think positive and your can over come. Though applying this philosophy to a worried mind that over thinks and over reacts is much harder than it sounded on paper. I am attempting to think of the good in every situation. To stay strong in mind when drama and chaos are a foot.For example; My husband's hours completed to hours attempted has made him exempt from financial aid and student loans but he graduates this semester. We are struggling to pay the bill and make ends meet, right now. I try very hard to stay positive and tell my self that this is only temporary. In December he will graduate and start to work and "all our problems financially" will go away. Positive thinking is not a big help when the bill collectors are at the door, so I think " a lot of good a positive mind is if it doesn't pay the bills or relieve a bit of stress." I often remind myself that this will soon pass and the stress that I not only bring myself but to my family is wasted on things I can only wait out. Changing my train of thought to improve my rational living status.
Personal Journal 6.2
I spend money impulsively. The satisfying short-term consequences of my impulse is that I feel happier after shopping, like I have filled a gap within me. The long-term consequences of m impulse is our financial ruin. We are all full time students and there is no "fun" money to spend on unneeded things. My impulsive buying habits often stress my husband out. He has trust issues when I say I am going to spend $20.00 on new jeans that I don't really mean $120.00. In my situation the short-term positive effects do not out weigh the negative effects. My spending money we don't have is putting our family into hardships that can be avoided. I would have to put a great effort into reminding myself to stop-think-decide. Though my husband is a great reminder to me that we can not spend.
Personal Journal 5.3
Irrational Belief: I must succeed at everything.
Rational Belief: I will try my best and work hard to succeed.
Irrational Belief: I should worry about every bad thing that can possibly happen.
Rational Belief: I should plan ahead just in case something happens.
Irrational Belief: I should never make mistakes.
Rational Belief: Mistakes are the way we learn. I can learn from my mistakes.
Irrational Belief: I should be kind, generous, competent, and loving at all times.
Rational Belief: I will be kind, generous, competent, and loving but it is okay to say no.
Rational Belief: I will try my best and work hard to succeed.
Irrational Belief: I should worry about every bad thing that can possibly happen.
Rational Belief: I should plan ahead just in case something happens.
Irrational Belief: I should never make mistakes.
Rational Belief: Mistakes are the way we learn. I can learn from my mistakes.
Irrational Belief: I should be kind, generous, competent, and loving at all times.
Rational Belief: I will be kind, generous, competent, and loving but it is okay to say no.
Personal Journal 5.3
Today I'm grateful for:
My families good health,
My ability to further my education,
& the love of a great family.
Three good things that happened to me today:
I woke up to another day.
My children started school back today after a two week brake. So the good thing is the alone time.
I talked to an old friend I hadn't talk to in along time.
Three good things that I have to look forward to in the future:
Graduating from college,
My sons graduating from high school.
The start of my career.
My families good health,
My ability to further my education,
& the love of a great family.
Three good things that happened to me today:
I woke up to another day.
My children started school back today after a two week brake. So the good thing is the alone time.
I talked to an old friend I hadn't talk to in along time.
Three good things that I have to look forward to in the future:
Graduating from college,
My sons graduating from high school.
The start of my career.
Monday, October 1, 2012
Second Term Paper blog entry
A Guide to Rational Living. WOW! and that is an understatement. Albert Ellis and Robert Harper both have PH.D.'s. They focus on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy.The definition of rational used in REBT is: showing reason; not foolish or silly; sensible; learning to efficient results; producing desired effects with a minimum of expense, waste, unnecessary effort, or unpleasant side effects; helping to achieve the individual and social goals that you strive for.
I have been implementing many of the rational behavioral theories they talk about. For having done so, I feel better about myself and the reality that we all live in. I have found that positive thinking can ease anxiety and frustrations. I hope that after implementing more of their theories and with self motivation I can be happier and healthier both physical and mentally. They word the book it such a way that I do understand their techniques and can use nearly all of them to help improve my rational or irrational thinking. I love the book and plan to read it over and over again. :)
I have been implementing many of the rational behavioral theories they talk about. For having done so, I feel better about myself and the reality that we all live in. I have found that positive thinking can ease anxiety and frustrations. I hope that after implementing more of their theories and with self motivation I can be happier and healthier both physical and mentally. They word the book it such a way that I do understand their techniques and can use nearly all of them to help improve my rational or irrational thinking. I love the book and plan to read it over and over again. :)
Personal Journal 4.2
It is difficult for me to trust people with my honest opinions and feelings. When I avoid telling people what I really think,( to be honest). I am the one who is left feeling frustrated, and annoyed. By avoiding telling people my feelings I often feel alone in most situations, saddened by what feels like a burden weighting me down. Sparring my honesty and feeling set aside effects my self worth.
Opening up to people about my feeling and being honest lifts the burden and make me feel happier, lighter somehow. Not avoiding people I think would disagree with my right to speak and feel honestly, would open the door for new people in my life. Mostly knowing that even being honest and really feeling my feelings I am worthy of getting to know.
Opening up to people about my feeling and being honest lifts the burden and make me feel happier, lighter somehow. Not avoiding people I think would disagree with my right to speak and feel honestly, would open the door for new people in my life. Mostly knowing that even being honest and really feeling my feelings I am worthy of getting to know.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)